Destroyers of Hope. Destructors of Dreams. Haters.
I’ve been getting quite a lot of crap from these people since elections. And at times they make me questions myself. Do I really belong in parliament? What kind of things can I contribute in helping out next year? Why did people vote for me? Joke votes? Pity votes? Or just because my video was funny? People give me crap and I want to know why. Be honest with me please, and don’t give me all that pity and the I-don’t-want-to-hurt-your-feelings-so-I’ll-just-lie shit. If you have something to say to me, tell me straight up. And no, I won’t bash your face in and I won’t kick your balls, or your vag for that matter. I signed up for a formspring me just to see what people had to say, but I didn’t think I’d respond to those hurtful comments this way. People are saying it isn’t fair that I won based on my video. Well guess what? Life is not fair, unless you have it easy. Everyone voted who they wanted to vote for. I didn’t force them to vote for me. I gave them the option, but I didn’t force them. They could have voted for anyone one they wanted to vote for.
I’m not only getting this hate from my peers but from teachers as well. Just today during my F block (ART) I asked Hancock where his fine liners were so I could use it to add detail on my landscape painting. He gave me this dumb look and asked me: “Why are you asking stupid questions like that? It’s a PAINTing you shouldn’t even be using fine liners. I don’t get why you were chosen as Female Liaison. I really don’t know. I thought you’d be smart.” I just looked at him and said: “That really hurt you know.” He wasn’t even kidding when we said that to me. He was serious. So I walked back to my desk and just sat there and told Serina, Hillary, and Theresa what he said. Then he came to my desk with his hands wet from washing paint brushes and he kept wiping his hands on mine. I kept wiping it off but he kept on going. By then I was already pissed. But he kept on going. You know what he said? “If you want me to stop, then why don’t you tell me?” Dude, you already know I don’t want you to do that if I keep on wiping it off! I lost it then, I started crying and I left. I just sat outside on the picnic benches until school ended. People piss me off really easily…
I was sitting outside, and I hear the door of the art portable open. Serina comes out and sits in front of me and asks if I want to talk about it. I just shake my head, then she leaves and comes back with tissue. (Thanks Serina, I really appreciate it, even though I didn’t show it.) She asked if I wanted to be alone, and I nodded, so she left.
Alone on the bench, I kept asking myself whether or not I should drop out of Student Council since apparently people don’t approve. Then something caught my eye. On the floor, there were a whole lot of ants, and near the ants was this bee. It’s wings were broken and the ants kept ganging up on it. But the bee kept fighting back even though the wings were broken. It didn’t give up no matter what the ants did to it. It fell a lot, but it always managed to get back up.
I have no idea what happened but just at that moment, the wind stopped blowing and it was really quiet. You couldn’t hear the wind through the leaves, the sound of Mrs. McGrath teaching English 11 (even though the windows of her room were open), the people in the apartment next to the school, nothing. Not even the sound of the flies as they flew by me. I’m not entirely sure what it was, but I think it was a sign. I know some people don’t believe in miracles and God giving signs to people, but I think this was it. I looked down to check up on the broken-winged bee, and all those stupid ants trying to eat it. I looked down at the bee and then, it flew off.
I found myself comparing the bee to me. I should keep on trying to matter what tries to pull my down and eat my guts out, not literally of course…hopefully. I should just spread my wings and fly. But I know now that God is everywhere and he’ll be with us whenever we need it most.
Just putting this out there, some of my closest friends have not spoken to me about my win. They haven’t congratulated me for anything or supported me during the campaign. I’m not naming names because frankly, you should know who you are. I know that sounds kind of mean, but I really expected the “congrats” to come from you all first, but I got it from other people instead. So yeah, just putting it out there since I’m already opening up about this.
To anyone who thinks I’m unfit to help run Student Council next year, I understand if you still don’t want to on the council, but I’m telling you now, we are going to rock your world next year. Whether you want me to or not.